Practical tips for chaotic life
Sometimes our lives appear to be flowing beautifully. Work is great, relationships are peaceful, and life seems easy. At other times all seems to be working against each other and life is not so easy.
I can't say that I am in the latter but I'd say I am closer to it than to the first. Lately every day is non-stop running around from one task to the next and countless people to make happy. I am Mom. Wife. Caretaker. Dog walker. Cook. Mediator. Counselor. Homemaker. Consultant and Financial planner.
At work I am learning a new role and there is a pull to do more, create more programs, be more present in after work activities. There is so much to do that I often feel guilty for taking breaks to pump at work. At home there is an enthusiastic little greeting eagerly waiting for me to play and talk with her about my day and a not so happy cry ready to connect with his mom. Then there's the usual laundry, cleaning, dog tending, and meal preparation. All these accompanied by the immediate, “hello” and “goodbye” of my husband as he passes off the children so he can rush out the door and go to work.
What used to be family days are now family hours consisting of no more than 4 waking hours when we are all together. I'm in a contact go-go-go state fulfilling needs from every direction with what feels like the first break being at bedtime. (And oh man does it feel good...until the little one wakes up for his night-time feeding.)
I remember talking to friends who talked about their busy weeks and thinking I never wanted to live in this constant go state and yet here I am. Somedays are better than others but there are many days that my mind is weary and my body is starting to show how stressed and exhausted I am.
We will not always be in this busy state of life that I am positive about but it is a busy season none the less. A season of starting a new job. Reaching professional goals. Financial strains, and what feels like single parenting for both of us since most days we trade-off as soon as one of us gets home but it is a season. Whether you find yourself in a busy season of life or you simple need the reminder to slow down here are some practical tips to help us focus on the present.
1. Change your routine.
Routines are beneficial, if not necessary, to children and we as adults often live routine lives. While routines are wonderful to have in place sometimes its more beneficial to change things up (even if you have to push bedtime to a later time). After dinner, go out for an hour or so. Visit a park, library, coffee shop, or anywhere else. Key is to leave the house and break the routine.
2. Go outside and breathe.
I cannot say enough about how beneficial it is to spend time outdoors. When I am the most stressed, spending time outside in green spaces breathing in the smells of the trees has a way of settling my nerves. Even in times of no stress spending time in green spaces is great for us adults and our children.
3. Maintain a clean household.
Many parents say hold off on doing chores around the house until the kids are asleep but having a messy household adds to my stress. I've learned then that if I take 10 minutes after I get home from work to tidy up I am less likely to get overwhelmed the rest of the evening and then we can make new messes.
4. Involve your children.
Involving your children in the tasks you have is a wonderful way to connect with them and teach them responsibility and caring. Involve your children in helping you tidy up their spaces, help with meals, and help with younger siblings. Make it into a game or a dance party. I've learned so much about my children during these times and while it does make completing the tasks longer I get to show them that they are important and add value to our family.
5. Eat clean.
What you put in your body affects your mood. When we eat a lot of highly processed, high fat foods we often feel sluggish and are more likely to get agitated quickly. In contrast, if we eat a diet rich with fruit and veggies our mood will overall be better and we can have more energy for the day.
6. Laugh (and dance).
This is not my strongest area. I am not the light-hearted, goofy parent but I try and it feels so good to laugh. If laughing is hard for you turn on some fun pop music and have a dance party. You (and your kids) will likely start laughing.